Learning to say no. We know that every time we set a goal to save up money, life knows it and does everything in its power to prevent that. The same day you decide to start saving, a friend will most likely ask you to go out and drink a couple of cold ones. Before you realize it, you’re down $70 in one night. Not a great start when it comes to saving. There are some techniques you could use to get out of these situations.
- I’ll get back to you.
- I actually have plans, maybe some other time.
- Would have loved to, but I can’t tonight.
(These are just a few examples that allow you not to say “no” at the moment, but let you escape the pressure of being asked further questions.)
“If something is not a “hell, YEAH!”, then it’s a “no!”
― James Altucher
Even a harder situation to avoid, if you are in a relationship or ever have been. You know that time is not the only investment that is put into it. Money is definitely a factor and it goes quickly. There is something when it comes to being with the person you love, money loses value and we tend to forget our saving mentality. This is why that when in a relationship, both individuals must be on the same page with similar financial goals. This way, you can both remind each other of the “why” and figure out a more economical date night or vacation.
I’m not saying to never go out and have a good time. We all should enjoy a nice break every once in a while, but consciously take those breaks when you know you can afford them.
Learning to say no might also apply to other situations in your life. For example, let’s say you get two job offers. Both are extremely appealing and capture your interest very much. Even by placing them on a pros and cons list, this decision is extremely difficult. As a leader, you must make a decision. Being caught on your heels is not good, and by not making a decision, could put you against the wall and you might run the risk of losing both jobs. You might think this is not possible, that you would easily know which one to choose, because I thought the same. Yet, when placed in that situation I found myself in a state of doubt and fear of making the wrong decision. The feeling of doubt and wanting to be 100% sure of my decision, made me ask too many questions to my possible employer. Because of these questions, the employer began to feel uncertain if I even wanted to work for them. I showed a sign of weakness and poor leadership, because of my lack of decision making. I simply didn’t know how to say no, and turn down a job offer. Luckily, everything turned out just fine and no feelings were hurt. That is just a recent personal experience where saying no could have saved me a big headache.
“Real freedom is saying ‘no’ without giving a reason.”
― Amit Kalantri
In a similar environment. At work, it’s always good to lend a hand. Yet, there are moments where saying no is necessary in order for you to succeed at your job or task. Imagine, you promised your boss to have a certain project done by a specific due date. It is your reputation on the line to deliver what you promised, and helping your co-worker with her workload might cause you to have a poor performance review and not get that promotion you’ve been working hard for. One must develop a sense of priority, and take charge of the task that requires your full attention. Make it clear to the person that you are not saying no to them, just the favor. They should understand that your hands are full and that at the moment you cannot lend the hand, you usually do. Some ways of saying no to a co-worker might sound something like this.
- I wish I were able to but…
- If only I had a clone! (I thought that was a funny one!)
- I’m head-down right now on a project, so won’t be able to.
Try thinking of moments in your life where saying no would have turned out better than the actual outcome. Identify the factors and practice identifying those factors in future situations. Don’t go saying no to every little thing that comes to your life, because saying yes also provides life changing experiences. But, it’s learning WHEN to say no. Saying no to things that don’t matter to you, frees up a lot of time for things that you might actually LOVE to do! Stay hungry and stay TENACIOUS!
Edwin A. Rodriguez
Founder of Financial Tenacity